Stop worrying and start living

Abstract: Some of us have the habit of worrying a lot. Some do not even worry a bit. Worrying is a bad thing as it can affect our life and health. We will now in this article discuss in details what Dale Carnegie tells about how we can stop worrying and start to live. Dale Carnegie’s works are very inspiring and they can really teach us a lot about life and how to deal with the problems we face in life. What he writes about worrying is so practical and everyone can associate with it completely. We are just trying to discuss some parts of his work here. These points can be used by all no matter what their age is.

What is the fundamental reason for worrying and how can we overcome worrying:

  1. Always remember that life is today and now. What you have to live is today. Live in a “day tight compartment” as said by Dale Carnegie. Most of the worry we do is about the future and about things that will perhaps never even happen. If you take life as it comes and treat it as a day you will never feel the need to worry.
  • Now as per Dale Carnegie the best way to approach trouble is as follows:
  1. Always ask yourself what is the worst that can actually happen? When you treat the trouble in this way you will find a positive energy to deal with it automatically.
  2. Always be prepared to accept the worst. When you feel that there is a trouble and things can go wrong. Start to mentally prepare yourself for the worst. When you do that you will be in a better position to control the situation. In most of the cases the worst that you have imagined will never happen.
  3. Now in your mind, always remember mind is the most effective instrument that is available with us. With your mind you can control any situation. Now that you have imagined the worst possibilities, try to think how you can improve the situation when it is the worst. When you have a plan to deal with the worst situation you will be able to deal with any situation.
  • Whenever you start to worry. Always think what you are doing to your health. People who worry a lot can suffer from a lot of mental and physical problems like high blood pressure, high risks of heart attack and so on. If you want to live a healthy and a long life stop worrying right away.

Dale Carnegie gives a very practical way to deal with worry because he knows well that people who worry a lot cannot stop worrying all of a sudden. So what you should do to analyse the worry:

  1. The first and most important of all try to get all your facts right. When you have all the facts you will be able to get a better idea of the situation and deal with the problem in a better way.
  2. Now that you have the facts, weigh the facts and then take a proper decision. This decision will be well thought and based on facts.
  3. As soon as you have taken the decision act on it without wasting much time. If you think too much about the decision there is a possibility that you will keep changing the decision as those who worry are also the people who think a lot.
  4.   If you really have a big problem and you are worrying too much about it. Always tell yourself that worrying about the problem will not solve it at all. The problem will be solved only if you take an action and try to solve it from the roots. How are you going to do that? These are some steps that you can follow in order to ensure that you solve the problem with a practical approach and not waste your time unnecessarily worrying about it.
  1. First ask yourself what is the actual problem that you are so worried about? In many situations it does happen that the problem you think is worrying you is not the actual issue, the problem lies with something that is absolutely different.
  2. Then try to understand what are the causes of the problem that you are facing or you will be about to face. When you know the causes of the problem it becomes easier to solve the problem from the root itself. You will list a lot of causes and later you will be able to understand and choose the actual causes. This part is what matters and is important.
  3. When you know the causes of the problem try to understand how you can solve the problem. What are the ways out of the situation? The solutions are more important than the problems itself.
  4. Now you you have a list of solutions too. Well of all the solutions that you have listed try to look for the one solution that you feel is the most effective one of all the solutions that you have with you. When you have the best solution you will be able to solve the problem easily.

What we are basically trying to say is that do not worry. Worrying will only make life more difficult for you and the people around you. It is no good for your health either. It can cause you a lot of trouble later on in life. Always remember that worrying is nothing but a bad habit. It is not something you were born with, you developed it over the years. You have to get out of the habit and break the habit before the habit strats to break you and your relationships. Now that you know you worry a lot and you also know that it is a bad habit that you must get rid of. We will go to the next section on how you can start to break out of this habit. It did not start automatically and that is exactly why you will not get rid of it automatically either. You will have to deal with it step by step and day by day. The progress will be slow but it will be steady.

  1. Try to keep yourself as busy as possible. People who worry a lot the best mantra for them is to stay busy. Learn new things and do new things so that you can get your mind out of the habit of worrying a lot.
  2. Another common thing that people who worry a lot do is they most of the time worry about the unnecessary things. Most of the things that actually bother them are not an issue at all. Try to take your mind off the trivial matters and look at the bigger picture. Try to focus on what is important.
  • There will be few things in life that will happen. You cannot control as they are inevitable. If you worry about these you are only ruining your health and mental peace. There is god and he will look into certain things. He has designed few things in a certain way and all these things will happen at their own time and pace.
  • Just think it over if the thing you are worrying about is so important and does it deserve so much of anxiety and attention. When you think about a worry from this point of view you will realize that the problem is actually not as big as you think it to be. It definitely does not deserve all the thinking that you are putting in.
  • Many people who worry a lot will tell you that they do so because in the past they had a certain experience that made them feel this way. Do not think so much about the past. It is not necessary that what has happened in the past will happen again. There is no point worrying about certain things based on the experiences that you have had in the past.

As we have already mentioned. Mind is the most important tool that we have. If we have a strong mind we can deal with any situation. Always work towards building a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness. When you have a mind that is at peace and happy you will be able to deal with any situation and worry. How do you work towards a mental attitude that is peaceful and happy? We will list down some points that can help you to attain this and they are:

  1. Always ensure that your mind is filled with positive emotions like hope, peace, courage and health. When you fill your mind with positive thoughts you will see that you have become a more positive and happy person. Who is liked by people and people like to associate with.
  2. We all have enemies and we do not like many people. It is natural. Always follow your instincts if you do not like some people try to stay away from them. Surround yourself with positive and happy people who make you feel good.
  3. Always know that there will be people who will not be grateful for what you have done to them. It is normal and do expect that. Never have expectations from anyone. Even from those who are closest to you. When you go in life with zero expectations you will see that you feel more grateful for whatever is happening around you. People who are grateful are automatically more happy and in a state of peace.
  4. We all know that life is a mixed bag of good and bad. We all have ups and downs. Anyways always ensure that you tanks god for the good things that you have in your life. Count your blessings. Do not think about the troubles that you have. When you think like this you will learn to deal with life and all that comes with it in a more positive way. It will automatically make you feel happier.
  5. We all have our own capacity, we have strengths and weaknesses. We all are different and we must learn to deal with the difference. Try not to imitate anyone ever. Be yourself. When you are you and you try to bring out the best within you. You are spreading a lot of happiness within yourself and among all those around you.
  6. We all face loss. It can be financial, emotional and personal. Loss and loosing something is a part of life. When you lose something do not be too upset about it. Try to turn the loss into profit, try to look at what you have gained and how this experience will help you in the future. When we lose something we feel the worst and we are really depressed. This is the worst feeling that we have to deal with. When we have a positive attitude to life we will be able to transform all the losses to gains. All the pains into joys. It may sound very philosophical but it can be done. The point is to look at the brighter side of life and at all the good things life has given you.
  7. Happy people can spread happiness. Happiness is like a cycle, you spread happiness and it comes back to you. Like karma. When you create happiness for others or spread happiness people will get attracted towards you. You will notice that people who talk a lot and laugh a lot generally make friends more easily and are more friendly people. We all have problems in life and happiness is the moment when we forget about the problems. When you can make people happy or create happiness for them life becomes more beautiful and people will try to know you more.

We all no matter how positive we are at some point or the other do lose hope and start to worry. We will now mention how you can conquer worry in the simplest manner. Just pray to god. In all the religious books of the world you will find one thing common. In all of them there is a mention that tells you worry to god and let him solve it. God can solve all problems. Just tell him about the worry and he will look into it. Do try this and see how your worry gets solved. Just tell god and leave it know that he will solve the problem.

One thing that we all worry about very often is criticism. We do not like to be criticised. We all like appreciation. However, it is not possible that we will be appreciated all the time. No matter whether it is home or works it is natural that some people will be upset with us and they will not appreciate us. Some points that you must keep in mind about criticism are as follows:

  1. Always do your best and do not care about the result. Move in life with a positive approach. If you get appreciated for your efforts very good and if you do get criticism after all the hard work at least you know you did try your best. This is the most important of all.
  2. A criticism is always better than false appreciation. If someone is criticising you know that you have things to do to improve. No one is perfect and we all learn from mistake that is natural. How will we learn and know that we are wrong if we do not get criticised. Be open to negative feedback in life. Do not shout back or react to people who are criticising you. Try to understand what they are trying to say and if you feel they are right and you can make these changes you must do. People who appreciate criticism and do not justify their mistakes learn faster and do better in life. Rather than trying to prove your point try to improve yourself.
  3. Some people do the mistake of not try to understand their own mistake. We all are humans and we can do mistakes. Life teaches us in many ways. When you have done something wrong try to understand where you have gone wrong. When you can analyse your mistakes better you will automatically become a much better, happy and a positive person.

Another common trait that has been found among people who worry a lot is that they are always tired and do not feel relaxed. Always try to prevent worry when you do that you will be less tired. Always keep your energy and your spirits high. How can you do so is mentioned below:

  1. Always ensure that you rest. We all need rest. When you are very tired you will not have energy. When you do not have energy you will not be able to take any action. When you have energy you will be able to think better, think positive and stay away from worry.
  2. We all have a lot or work to do, every day. We all get tired as we work. You must learn the art of relaxing between all the works that you are doing. Take breaks or do things that make you feel better. Talk to someone and have a coffee. Read something. You will see when you have a body and mind that is relax you will worry less and you will be able to handle all the situations in life really well.
  3. Work we need to relax that is right. However, it is important that we relax at home too. Try to create a relaxed atmosphere in the house and keep it cosy. Relax at home and this will help you become healthier. You must ensure that you also look relaxed and happy. Take care of your looks. People who look good are more attractive and they spread more positivity.

When you really want to solve a problem, you have to take a few steps.

  1. Concentrate on the problem and nothing else; you can do that by clearing your desk of any unnecessary items. Keep only those things that are important and are related to the problem at hand.
  2. Always make a list of all the things as per the importance. Pay more importance to what according to you is a priority and do not bother much about the unnecessary things. When you can list the things as per their importance you will be more in control of the situation.
  3. Try to be a person who solves the problem right at the time it occurs. Follow the steps of getting all your facts ready and approach the problem with a practical attitude and cool mind. When you can solve the problem as and when they arise you will reduce your chances to worry about the problem to a huge extent. However, not all problems can be solved immediately but do give it a try.
  4. People who are more organised have less to worry about as they know they are in control of the situation. Also learn to assign the task to others so that you can relax and be more at peace. Also learn to be an effective supervisor who keeps an eye on all the tasks that they have assigned to others.

We hope that this article will help you to stop worrying and live a better life. We have taken these points from the work and writing of Dale Carnegie. These are all points that are practically possible to attain. Just that you have to put in some effort and make these a matter of habit. These changes cannot happen suddenly, the habit of worrying is not easy to get rid of. However, we assure that if you follow these points you will definitely be able to do a better job.

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